259: Neuro-Linguistic Culture Building, With Julian Sado

April 18, 2023

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Dr. Pelè [00:00:00]:

Hello, happy people. Welcome to the Profitable Happiness Podcast. Hello, everyone. This is Dr. Pelè with the profitable Happiness podcast. And today I am so honored and blessed to be hanging out with Julian Sado. Julian is a speaker. He is an author. He is an NLP practitioner of behavioral coach. Julian, I've said everything you are, but I forgot one thing, and you know what that is, right? Julian has as much connection and passion and love for the music of this world as I do. And he's one of the people who have been at the very top of the musical industry. Julian, how are you doing today?

Julian Sado [00:00:42]:

I'm doing amazing. How are you doing today?

Dr. Pelè [00:00:45]:

I'm doing good, man. It's just so good to see you. We've known each other for a little bit, talked before, and I was really excited to talk about the new things that you're working on these days and the new approaches that you're bringing to your practice. But before we do that, just to give everyone a sense of context, can you take us into the trenches, if you will, of work that you do and tell us about some of the challenges and the problems, if I may even say, go that far, that you help companies solve? How exactly do you help companies?

Julian Sado [00:01:18]:

I bring the humans back to business. That's basically what I do. I mean, that's the tagline I can use all day long. Because really, we're all just human. Everything we see is a mirage of something behind it, right? So that's basically all I try to do with companies to get them to do that. Now, we talked about this, but ever since COVID depression has increased substantially over 400% in the US. I mean, we have a depression problem and a dopamine problem. We are focused on trying to feel good all the time. And because of that and all the association with likes and dislikes or no likes or comparisons, we have this complete depression of people. Even though we put a mask on for eight, 9 hours, 10 hours a day, there's this feeling of I'm missing something, right? So that has been my focus, getting leaders to understand how to address that. And it has really nothing to do with their employees, but really focus. I trick them by going into an introspective of themselves, and that's been the key. And so that's what I do for a living, have a great time doing it. Sometimes it gets hard because they hire you for one thing, and then you have them looking at themselves. They're like, that's not what I hired you for. I want you to fix my people. The people are reflection of you, right? We emulate our environments. That's who. If you go to East La. And you see some bad things happening, it's normal because they're going to put their car on the front yard with no tires. I'm going to put my car on the front yard with no tires. It's like we emulate our environment. So you got to ask, what am I putting out there? And that's who I get leaders to think about.

Dr. Pelè [00:02:48]:

I can't help but think of Michael Jackson's, man, in the mirror. You can talk all you want, but that mirror is looking right back at you, isn't it?

Julian Sado [00:02:56]:

Yeah. The problem with that is that's two D. Now the question is, you got to get 3D. You can't just look in the mirror. You got to go beyond that. You got to get inside that's key.

Dr. Pelè [00:03:06]:

Wow. I think something that you've just brought up here is so important that we need to highlight it, and that is there's an epidemic, maybe even a pandemic, I should probably say, of unhappiness in the world. And I think that parts of this unhappiness is because we don't understand happiness. As you said, sometimes you should be okay with feeling some unhappiness in order to create success. And we can't have our entire lives. The goal of our lives is just to be happy. So I'd love for us to address that as we go on. But before we get into the details here, tell us a little bit, Julian, about how you become the executive coach and the behavioral coach that you are today. What exactly put you on this path all the way from music to this?

Julian Sado [00:03:49]:

Yeah, I have no idea. Okay. I really don't have any idea. Had no idea. But it's interesting. My wife and I were having a great conversation about this. Ever since I was a kid, I've studies human nature because I grew up in East La. We talked about this, and I looked like Hispanic growing up in all African American environment. And I was getting beat up all the time. All the time. So here's the crazy thing. I used to walk through the hood, and I noticed a gang member who was about to beat me up. He was never afraid in the neighborhood. He could sit in the alley, completely comfortable, never think about somebody going to jump him because he owned it. He knew this was my neighborhood. I was walking around looking like a victim, and so he saw victim opportunity, and he pounced on me. But as a child, I realized, you know what? He believes he belongs here, and that's where his power comes from. So really, everything falls into my belief system about me now belonging here. And so ever since I was a kid, I became a study of my own human nature and other people's. And I think that's how it all started, even in the music industry, working with so many people that we both know and seen. Some of them you never hear from again, but they have that one hit wonder kind of thing. But I noticed a lot of them had this internal conflict, this cognitive dissidence of even though they're getting all these accolades, they were depressed they were not feeling worthy of what they were feeling. And I saw a connection between their own brains and mine. And that's when I started wanting to study more about myself. And that's how I got started on this. But as I got into corporate America, corporate America is no different than Hollywood. I mean, the owners of companies are the celebrities in the business. So when they show up to work or to the office, everybody's like, oh, John's coming to office today. They're the Michael Jackson showing up. And I realized it's the same behavior transcend it from Hollywood to corporate to school to the best kid in school, the bully in school. Nothing changes. It's all the same emotions no matter what. And so that's how I got started in the business. And as I tied it all together, I built my own programs, and I focused on that now. I'm really having a neuroscience. So that's been my doorway to a lot of things because it's starting to really pick up in the corporate America. They want to know more about the subconscious and how it works. And that's been my niche.

Dr. Pelè [00:06:00]:

Yeah, I want to go a little further with you about the science of these things because I agree with you. People kind of their ears perk up when you go, you know what? It's not your fault. It's the science happening in your brain. Because we are creatures of habit, conscious mind, and things we don't even know are driving us. And to me, that's the big human condition question is, how is it that I'm here trying to live what I think is my life, but there's all this other stuff that's really living my life for me. What's your thought on the science, the neuroscience of our life?

Julian Sado [00:06:35]:

Well, it's interesting because the animalistic part of our brain is about survival. So it really goes back to your definition of survival. So take it further back before the society we have now, this comfort zone where the clapper came out. I don't have to get up and turn my lights off. I can just clap my minds. Comfort became the number one product of sales. I need to sell you on something that's going to make your life comfortable. But before that, life was not comfortable. I mean, you had to work if you wanted to eat. You had to hunt. If you had to hunt. You didn't know how to skin the thing, clean up the blood, cook it so you didn't get sick and die. I mean, there's a lot of things you had to learn for survival that was considered comfort, learning how to do something. And the act in doing it was considered comfortable. Now it's about, I don't want to do it. Let me hire somebody else to do it. Right. So I have a chapter in my book called do your own Damn Lawn, because it's like we hire gardens because it's like, why don't you do your own lawn? You say you want to exercise. Mowing a lawn is just as much exercise as going to the gym, if not better. So we separate these things, and we call ourselves modern. But I think that's really where it started, and I think it has a lot to do with our concept of what it means to be is really.

Dr. Pelè [00:07:48]:

The key, I have to say. I just wrote down, do your own damn law, because I need to take that advice, dude.

Julian Sado [00:07:56]:

It's very therapeutic.

Dr. Pelè [00:07:59]:

You know, one thing that's therapeutic for me and I just want to and this is taking a walk. Yeah, but but what I like about the lawn advice is now you can take a walk around your own house with $30 exactly.

Julian Sado [00:08:13]:

But you save money, and you also get a chance to feel the pheromones from the grass, the we sound from the grass. You get all that stuff has so much interaction in the spiritual minds. Right. It really does a lot for you. People don't realize that, but I think that's where it started.

Dr. Pelè [00:08:26]:

Powerful stuff. Julian okay, so let's talk about the question of how so someone's listening to this, they really appreciate the challenge that you've described, and they want to know, I want to learn from you. How exactly do I begin a process of building a culture that that has all the things you you're talking about, you know, safety, ability to innovate, just a culture that works in the organization. How do you bring solutions to your possible clients?

Julian Sado [00:08:56]:

I know it sounds crazy, and I've said this on leverage other meetings, and it throws people of but here's the challenge, and I say this with all love of our audience. You can't have a checklist. You can't. Because once you put together a process, lose genuinity. It's like knowing martial arts. You don't go into a fight doing your forms in martial arts or doing a certain you don't do practice in the fight. You actually have to become instinctive to that exact moment. And only we become instinctive to that moment is to know enough about it that it becomes intuitive, where it's not something you have to think about. It's not knowledge anymore. It becomes wisdom. And so I tell people all the time, if you go back to the basics, before our modern technology, people got around and just had conversations about what they were feeling, and they got challenged. They had interaction with people, and they talked, and they empathized with each other, loved each other, hugged each other, but that was enough. And then they walked away, and they felt empowered, and then they would live it and come back and share it again. And here's what I did, and here's what worked. That's all it is. So what I do is really weird, because when I work with companies, they want exactly what you said, like, that do we do? And if I put it on paper, then the paper become the project and that become the flow and that becomes the rule. And now that you have a rule, you've already lost our audience because now you have a rule. So we have to go into a more of organic approach. But that means you have to learn more about yourself than you do about anybody else. And that's what I teach people.

Dr. Pelè [00:10:26]:

Really. So self knowledge, the know thyself is really where you start is what you're saying?

Julian Sado [00:10:32]:

Yes, 100%. I hate using that 100% because that's kind of a tag word of the modern technology. But being an NLP practitioner, using fractals, using averages as an answer is wrong. But yes, that's exactly what you do. It's like you think about how do I improve? And in that improvement, you respond differently to every situation. And that alone changes the narrative. It changes everything. You stop answering questions or asking questions or responding the way you did because now you're pausing. That one pause is like the one drop in the ether that changes that whole culture. Right. And that's all it is.

Dr. Pelè [00:11:10]:

Yeah. Now, I have to tell you, I really appreciate the know thyself as a place to start. In fact, one of the things that I've seen in the world, which I don't have a solution for it is so may people think they know what to do, what's wrong? That the see in the world fact. The reason they don't know is that they don't realize that they themselves are operating from a place they don't know. Like their subconscious mind is driving their habits and their behavior, but moving in that connection, knowing that it's so difficult to know thyself. How do you get people to lead and help change behavior in organizations? Knowing how difficult it is for people to do introspection?

Julian Sado [00:11:59]:

Well, interesting enough, we are egocentric by nature too. So yeah, you're absolutely right. Anything you try to get people to change, it's going to be hit with a conflict of interest in their own psyche. So they're going to take it as a that their cortisol builds up and they already become self, almost narrow, focused and they become black and white and they don't want to deal with it. Right. But go back to anybody, you know, that's ever been converted to a certain religion. What had to happen for them to convert? What's that turnaround? What is it that shifts it? And what it is, is an emotional connection. You have to be emotionally connected to the change. If you wanted to work out life, if I was training you to get in a gym and say you just hated going to the gym but you know, that's what I need to do. I wouldn't coach you to getting to the gym. I would coach you first. Just getting up, right? Just get up, put on some workout, goes, take them, I'll go back to bed. Just do that it's like, why just do it? Because that I'm trying to do is get you to get a feeling. And then once you get that feeling where you get up automatically and you put on the clothes and it's not a big deal to you, then we can say, okay, go to the door, the turn around and go back. And then once you get that feeling, then let's go. So there's really an emotional feeling that a person has to have. What people do is they try to get logical about their change. If I do this, I'll get that that's logical. The goal is to feel what you want and get that feeling invoked in you. And that's why I go back to introspective, is you focusing on what you feel. A lot of leaders want to change their culture, but they don't want to change their feelings about their culture. That's the problem. If they walk into your culture and say, my culture is this, and there's no morale, they're not motivated, they don't want to do their job well, that's your feelings. And people emulate the feelings you express. So you have to see people as they could be, not as they are. And that's going to make the difference. Wow.

Dr. Pelè [00:13:56]:

Now that's a master class right there. What you just shared is worth maybe even up to a million dollars for the writer just right there. I have to say, I couldn't agree with you more. I think it was Descartes who said, I think, therefore I am. And I think you and I would probably go back to Descartes if you were around and said, dude, I feel, therefore I am. That's where it is. Because science has shown us the emotions really drive action. In fact, in my approach to culture building, I talk to people about how the emotion and the feelings of eudomonic happiness are the things that drive us to build habits that then can be turned into high performance. That's the three H's, right?

Julian Sado [00:14:41]:

Yeah, you hit it right on the head there. But here's what's interesting. They took that out of all the historical studies of psychology and philosophy and from Greek philosophy, feelings were part of study. I mean, you studied emotions just as much as you studied astrology. I mean, you studied and you connected the emotions to astrology. If you look at historically feelings, emotional human emotions, and the ability to really contemplate your emotions is a gift of something that no other creature on the planet can do life. A deer that has a rabbit is eaten. A baby rabbit, the mama rabbit might feel sad, but they don't sit there and say, I need therapy now. Really depressed. They don't go the get over it because they don't have the ability, and I say this loosely for people, I don't want to offend anybody this culture.

Dr. Pelè [00:15:38]:

Now, but somebody might have a deer.

Julian Sado [00:15:43]:

But at the same time we have a god given right to contemplate what we feel. And the where is that feeling coming from? Where is it houses my body and what is it coming and what can I do to change it? But what people do is they feel guilty about what they feel. And the problem is we have a right to feel what we feel. That's human nature. If you feel sad, down, depressed, angry, fine, embrace it. That's what I feel. But then your secondary act thought is the key. What do I want to do with that? That's the most important part. We leave that out. And like all cultures, they embraced it. They embraced your emotions, and they wanted to dictate where those emotions come from, where they're housed, how they're housed in the energetic world, from the vibrational frequency of that feeling. All that stuff was studied throughout history, but we've taken it out, especially the European studies.

Dr. Pelè [00:16:34]:

Wow. And what a tragedy. I've found that usually there are things that block our vision. So even most well intentioned of us want to do the right thing, want to understand ourselves. The introspection you've talked about, but something there's a mindset block somewhere. I don't know if that's been something you work on specifically, but if you were to advise people who may be listening to this and going, is there something I can quickly do? Maybe unblock myself to begin to see the things that you're talking about, what might that advice be?

Julian Sado [00:17:09]:

I do this all the time. And I have a thing called no so 24. It's like once a week, take out all social media. I hate to say this, music too. Take out everything. Don't listen to news, don't listen to radio, don't have anything electronic for 24 hours. You'll be surprised how that changes your brain. It's like not eating sugar for like a week and all of a sudden you taste it. You're like, Whoa. All of a sudden, you see the manipulation. If you turn on the news, you'll see what happens. And if you can do it for three days a month, life from a Friday or from a Saturday to a Monday morning, it changes everything because you don't realize how much subliminal you have. Over 50,000 subliminal messages a day impacting your subconscious. And your subconscious picks up everything. And I say everything, I mean everything. And it's taking in as fact. It doesn't have a concept of real or not. This is why you watch a scary movie. You know it's fake, but your body's still going to respond to it. Because subconscious is like, hey, this is what I need to do. We have to be more intentional about what we're taking in before you can start thinking about what you need to do to fix it, because it's more about what you take out that's going to be better for you. So I just tell even entrepreneurs, instead of trying to figure out what you need to do, first figure out what you need to take out of your life so you can do more, because that's really the key, is learning how to do that. And that's been something. I tell you, dude, I look forward to the days I turn it off. I mean, I don't get on social media a lot, and that might be a lot to do with my culture, my age, and how I grew up. At the same time, I love The Breakaway because it tells me that I have control. And I tell people, if you really want to learn control, if you love chocolate cake, buy a chocolate cake, put it in your refrigerator, and let it go bad. That's power, right?

Dr. Pelè [00:18:55]:

Wow, man. Jillian, I don't know. Look, you got to publish that book that you told me you've been writing, because this is look, let me just show you some things that are so important. I wrote this down. You talked about changing your brain. This is another thing a lot of people don't realize they have the power to do. This idea of neuroplasticity that you've brought up, all these images, all these things coming into your brain are literally changing your brain. And now you got to decide, am I going to let them change my brain or am I going to change my brain? I'll tell you one funny thing about how I got my name. My father and his kid brother, they were just avid soccer fans. And as I grew older, I could see this because I would sit down and watch them watching soccer games, and you know what they would do, Julian? They would be kicking the ball while they're watching. They're watching the game. And it's only now that I look back and I'm seeing what you're saying. Their minds did not know. They were not inside that game.

Julian Sado [00:20:02]:

They had no idea. Subconscious had no idea. Yeah, that's how powerful it is. The word entertainment is a Greek word and means amuse. And the word amuse in Greek means no thought. It means you have no thought. And everything you're seeing is being put into you. That's the concept of entertainment. It is the understanding that you're being influenced. Politics knows this. They study this stuff better than I do. Matter of fact, I've had PR firms that they've hired people like me to focus on these things. The words, the tones, the repetitiveness of things that becomes truth to you, regardless if it makes sense or not. And so the more they repeat things, the more becomes that must be real, because I keep hearing it. So that's what happens in our brain. So the understanding that you're being manipulated 24/7 is your opportunity to say, you know, I need to break away from that manipulation, so I become more in tune with me, so I can see it when it's coming. And then you decide how you want to receive that information. It's really interesting how this is heightened even more now than ever. Even though we're more connected technology wise, we are so divided emotionally because of that manipulation. And me coming from Hollywood, dude, I've seen so many of this stuff being played out that it was one of the reasons why I got out of the entertainment industry. My conscience was like, I can't be a part of that. And I think my mother having me go to church as a young kid really gave me a conscience and it really helped me get out of that world. And I'm grateful. Some people say, Aren't you sad you left? Like, I survived. I escaped to a lot of ways. So that's how I feel about it. I mean, there's some good parts to it too. I'm not going to say all entertainment is bad, but the world I was in, I wouldn't say there was anything good about it at that point.

Dr. Pelè [00:21:44]:

Now I hear you. And as you said, a lot of worlds are similar. Here we are talking about the world of business and organizations and at the end of the day, business and companies, they want positive outcomes, they want profitability, they want success. And somehow they've got to work with human beings. These employees who have these brains that work like we've describe the twitching, watching a soccer game. That's who we all are. And they have to somehow take them from this world of feelings into a world of creating profit. And I call that taking happiness and making that into a thing you love to do and you love to do creates process, a process of business success. How do you see it? How do you see profitable happiness, if you want to call it that? Or the idea of taking human beings and their emotions and somehow turning them into engines of real business success. How do you see that working?

Julian Sado [00:22:45]:

Interesting enough, I don't think people realize this, but most people take jobs for survival, not because they want to work for you. That's bottom line, right? Let's be honest. Most people when you graduate elementary school, what do you want to be when you grow up? Most of the time they want to be a doctor or a veterinarian, a fireman. They want to serve people because serving people is the number one trait of human connection. Serving others. That's the one thing that makes matter of fact. I think Simon Sinnick just was recently posted something about this. When you do something for other people, it benefits you more. And Christ says it too. It benefits you physically more than it does them because of what you get from doing it. So it's kind of the understanding that we want to feel like we're serving others or we're doing something that's helping others feel better. That is the number one thing when you get people to focus on that, when they can see the outcome of their results in a feeling base, you're going to see more people doing things because of the desire to do it. When you do it from a standpoint of so you don't get fired or you're now a low performer, you got to be above the line. That's survival. And that to me is no different than trying to dog pedal and trying to get air out of above the water. You can only do that so long and then you're going to just say forget it or you're going to find another water to swim in. So the goal is to understand it's making people see the benefits of those things. But it has to be something about emotional outcome. Everybody has an emotional outcome. I don't care what you're selling, but if you sell a house, I tell this to loan officers all the time. It's not about closing. You should understand that this family is going to do with that house. The kid's going to go to school in that community. They're going to be able to maybe refinance and start a business. You need to visualize the depth that you're creating with just having that person get that house. And it should start from the day one you meet them and that's what you need to do. When you do that, your drive is much different. So that's really what generates happiness for people when it comes to working for an organization.

Dr. Pelè [00:24:41]:

Yeah, no, I love those analogies, especially the ones that basically I think what you're saying is step away from yourself for a second and what is in it for them, my employees? What is their ultimate outcome that can create success for them? And once you figure that out, whether it's happiness or whatever, the you can move the ship closer to business success.

Julian Sado [00:25:05]:

It's the same thing that happened with the military. They did a study where the drill serges were dragging on people because the couldn't do more than ten push us when they first joined the boot camp. Right. And they were yelling at them the next day they did twelve over ten. They got two extra push us the next day. Then they did a study where the took this concept of what we just talked about and they actually shared with the person doing the ten push ups. Wait, so you joined the military so you can be the first in your family to literally go to college and get and education? Yes sir. Blah, blah, blah. You know what, I really admire that about you. Just imagine what's going to happen when you get through this course. They were able to do three times as many push ups the next day. And the drill sergeant did a study saying, you know what, I'm feeling more passionate towards what I'm doing because I'm focusing on the emotional connection of the purpose. And that has been a driving force and we've lost that in a lot of businesses. We're getting to left brain. 70% of our. Culture is, right brain. We want to feel more connection and feel purposeful in what we're doing and we need to be more driven towards that.

Dr. Pelè [00:26:05]:

Yeah, powerful. And as you said when we first started this conversation, sometimes you got to invest in things that aren't making you feel that instant gratification, instant happiness in order to get the long term benefits. But regardless of whatever you do, emotions are important, I think is the core message that I'm hearing from you.

Julian Sado [00:26:28]:

Emotions are the core. Body is a vehicle. The body is the vehicle of the emotions. Right? If you have an emotion that's a byproduct of a thought, rather subconscious or conscious, so that emotion, you need to get to the root of that emotion because that emotion is driving a behavior and that's driving a perception of you and that is going to give you whatever outcome you have. And you need to figure out where that emotion is coming from. So that's why I meant by historically we studied emotions because they were a byproduct of the culture. So where are these emotions coming from? So we definitely need to figure that out. Emotional intelligence is just a word, but it real. Is being connected learning how to communicate?

Dr. Pelè [00:27:05]:

Absolutely. Wow. Julian, what are you up to these days? What are you excited about? What's coming up? And how can people get a hold of you?

Julian Sado [00:27:15]:

Oh, man, I'm up to a lot. I mean, that would take another 30 minutes. I have so many. But yeah, really, I'm focusing on, like we talked about, working with leaders, working with a lot of salespeople, really getting them to understand because we're inundated with how to get it done quick. Everybody's selling quick sales techniques and then use chat GPT and get your letters done and all that stuff. And I think it's a create technology. I'm not knocking it. But I think what we're doing, going back to what I said to you earlier, I don't know if it was on the pod or before, but easy has been the biggest thing we're selling, right? We're selling the easy way to get something. And what's happening is we're losing how to invest in our ethics, our own work towards that, so we have more buy in to what we're doing. Personally, people feel that. So if you're personally committed to what you're doing because you believe it, that's going to be shown. So I teach people that. So that's what I'm focusing on, just developing programs, and I say programs lightly, but a way to communicate that shows passion. With several companies coaching a lot of salespeople and finish the book is done. I just haven't published it. That's about it. And I was just focusing on my family. We're empty nesters now, so my wife and I can go anywhere we want. So it's like we're next. That's the conversation.

Dr. Pelè [00:28:28]:

That's awesome. Where can people find you? Online, obviously, I'm going to share the LinkedIn, but where else can people find you that you'd like to share?

Julian Sado [00:28:37]:

Oh, you can find me. Just you can go to Juliansotto.com. You can see me there. You can see some of the seminars and things. I teach and coach. More than that, you just reach out to me. Jsoto at pivot twochange.com. And that's about it.

Dr. Pelè [00:28:53]:

Awesome. Julian, I want to thank you so much for another awesome conversation. Lots of learning and lots of deep knowledge about what really is going on up here. Thank you so much.

Julian Sado [00:29:06]:

I appreciate you, sir. Thanks so much. I'll see you soon, all right?

Dr. Pelè [00:29:09]:

Take care. It thanks for tuning in to the Profitable Happiness podcast. For more episodes, visit drpelais.com. And remember, get happy first, and success will follow.